May 11, 2009

In All Seriousness

I was just in the middle of writing an upbeat post about how great yesterday's Mother's Day was...but, well, something suddenly came up.

I try not to get too earnest here on the blog because, um, I don’t really think I’m very good at it. But sometimes life calls for a moment of reflection...and therefore I'm going to just go for it. Because honestly, I'm scared and angry and I'm just not sure what any of my posts are going to be looking like for a while...or what my life is going to be looking like.

So! The good news is that yesterday was Mother’s Day and I got to be with my whole family—my mom, dad, husband, son, brother, sister-in-law, nephews and SIL's mom—and it was pretty much the best damn Mother's Day (or day, period) ever. The bad news is I’m not quite sure how many more Mother's Days I’ll get to celebrate—at least not with my mom. Ahem. Basically she’s been in remission after battling breast cancer seven years ago and...well, it's back. With a vengeance. She just called me from her oncologist's office with the prognosis. Of course she's going to fight it and we're all hoping for the best. But hearing that without treatment your mom has probably got about a year to live? That certainly puts the minutiae in perspective, doesn't it? I'm not looking forward to watching her go through the godawful chemo again, either...but I'm grateful she's going to give it a shot. Up until today, she was thinking she'd just forgo it for quality of life. I guess when you've got a concrete diagnosis, your plans to fight something get more concrete too.

I hope this doesn't come across as a deeply inappropriate way to process the situation—blogging about it, that is. I mean, I know I'm not the first to deal with this and unfortunately I'm not the last. Right now I could just use a virtual hug...a lit candle...whatever feels most appropriate. Seriously. I'll take whatever you're peddling.



Mari said...

I am so sorry. It is not easy watching your mom go through the treatments. My mom battled with it for a few years and I am always scared that it will come back as well.

I will be thinking about you and your mom and be sending some positive thoughts her way.


Annika said...

Oh, Alexa. That just sucks. I'll be thinking of you and hoping for the very best for your Mom.

Anonymous said...

I just left you a message.


Call me anytime. You know I mean that - ANY time. I will keep the phone by our bed. I love you...



jennifer Banash said...

Oh sweetie. Am so sorry you're going through this. Let me finally take you to lunch so I can buy us mid-day martinis and you can cry on my shoulder. . .

I really hope you're doing OK, and if you need ANYTHING, just holler.


Adele said...

Alexa - my heart is with your mother, your entire family and yourself at this time.

I am sincerely sorry. Love, huges and kisses.

Shalonda said...

Alexa, I'm so sorry that your family is going through this tough time.

Wishing your mother and you well wishes and lots of strength. Hugs to you both.